On Saturday evening I joined a group of friends for a potato Latke dinner. We had fun sharing great food and laughs, and songs and poetry.
In the midst of the celebration, at one point I quietly asked a friend if there was something troubling him.
He seemed withdrawn and a little vulnerable, certainly not as talkative as he usually is.
He shared with me that he was grieving the terrorist attacks in Paris. I empathized. I feel the sorrow too, punctuated by my father passing away on Nov 4th.
My body is heavy with grief and a sense of futility. Everyday there is emptiness that with deep introspection I discovered I could fill with sorrow, regret, anger… or faith.
Forgiveness and Faith
It’s ultimately my choice—a choice that isn’t easy to make. I go to sleep in prayer for the many people that died in the Terrorist attack, and at peace with my father’s death. I awaken troubled and deeply pained.
I shared this with another friend who also spoke up on behalf of the attack in Paris. He mentioned that empaths are particularly affected and undergoing deep inner processing.
As a highly sensitive person, it’s intense. Worldwide tragedies seep into my dreams and my waking hours, hunting through me for resolution. I’m always a healer, a doorway for solace and integration.
When The Spirit Leaves the Body
The day my father died I served as the usher guiding him to the light. It’s amazing how spirit releases so much energy as the body surrenders its life. It’s truly magical.
We don’t think of the dying as having the power to touch us, but when I held my dad’s hand before he left his body, I felt his spirit become larger, more expansive, and not move away from me but through me.
There are many beings leaving our planet, surrendering their bodies to spirit. We assist them in the afterlife by giving them our faith. Anger, despair, guilt and shame only serve to impede their way.
We are the light they seek—the passage into the arms of the Divine. Let us not stop at the terrifying assault of terrorism or turn away from the losses in our lives.
We need to embrace and cultivate a truer expression of our value and love this earth and all living beings.
“Do not loose your faith, for a world without faith is a world in darkness and despair. Please open your eyes to the benevolence in the world, not the harsh realities.
“You fool yourselves by only seeing the suffering and then raging against it. There is so much more to see than the world’s injustices and betrayals. There is more to encompass and experience than the stopping force of fear.
“There is forgiveness and patience—the ultimate gift that you are here to give the earth and all its inhabitants.
“Why are you here to give this gift? Because the earth and its inhabitants need your love and devotion, as do the spirits who inhabit the afterlife.
“You and all your grace and adoration are needed. You and all that you create through trust and surrender are needed. You are an imminent part of all that is, and all that is needs you.
“So please forgive those that perpetrate suffering and rather than continue to hold the weight of pain, embrace the value of all life. Also, please forgive the dying for all their failings – all the ways that they have not lived up to their potential, and forgive those who have stolen from them their faith in love.
“Our dear friends, do not fear evil for in doing so you neglect to see that all life is worthy of love. Plant the seeds of your faith and cultivate a rich and fertile life where you can grow your commitment and love for all life, all beings, all time.”
Shedding Old Skins
My writing and Masiandia’s teachings have a way of returning me to me, balancing and supporting me with guidance and spiritual integrity. After my father’s passing, for solace I read passages of my upcoming book, Mystical Intimacy. I can’t wait for you to have a copy of it when it is published. More to come about that…
It saddens me that my dad will never read my book however, though there are passages that I often feared he would react to, passages where I share about my childhood.
Now I feel free to share, knowing that his spirit is free to accept and support me. These are passages for you to read when the book is in print, but for now there are so many gems that I would love to give you. Here is an excerpt that I find profoundly caring and uplifting.
Excerpt from Mystical Intimacy
“Everyday is a new possibility, a miracle wanting to happen. It is a raw canvas ready to be animated by the transformative gift of our creative freedom: a potential that is born of letting go.
“It is by shedding our old skin that possibilities emerge. By letting go, we lose nothing. Instead, we see, we witness and expand ourselves into receiving so much more.
“We understand that it is difficult for many of you to trust the unknown, to let challenging situations evolve into peaceful encounters.
“We also see that for many of you, life gives you no choice; it demands that you undo old programming that does not serve your soul. Life pushes you to become conscious, to awaken to who you are gently or forcefully, through opportunities, life-changes, sometimes illness and bereavement. Therefore, we cannot talk about letting go without acknowledging grief.
“Grief is a turning inwards into bittersweet release. It encompasses the need to rest, heal and start over. It is like exhaling, pausing between notes, and silence—a complete emptying of your feeling body, to be refilled by your next breath. Breathing is often the center of focus in meditation for this reason, to release holding patterns from the body. Letting go then supports you in opening your essence, so that the breath of divinity can replenish you.
My dad wrote a song titled Space Train when I was a little girl. I remember when he played the guitar and sang this song when I was about six. He would often play music around the kitchen table and especially at bedtime, and this one was one of my favorites.
I can still hear the tune and his powerful voice—a stark contrast to his last days when he could barely speak. Life has a way of humbling us. I trust that he is in a restful place and that he has made peace with his past. May he be forever in the light of God, Goddess and All That Is.
Space train where are you going?
Space train what time do you leave?
Space train where are you going?
Is there any more room, can you please wait for me?
I’m going to the wicket to get a one-way ticket.
I’m due for a ride that will change my life.
No more hesitating I know you’re delaying.
I won’t keep you long, he’s gone they’ll be saying
I want to be free cause I’ve paid my fees.
Lies I can see and they can’t fool me.
I’m tired of these games that’ll drive me insane.
My mind you can steel but my soul I will keep
On the path of healing there comes a time when the voice of old wounds
transforms into faith and empowerment, and you encompass
a new vision of yourself. Discover how…