I fell in love with a poem written by my client, Prem Sharma, and with…
The 8 Secrets to Living Your True Story was inspired by the series of 3 blogs I wrote on Emotional Maturity: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You, Personal Empowerment, and Living Your True Story.
The list of 8 ways to live your story comes from my personal experiences, as well as the teachings of Masiandia and a myriad of other inspirations along my life path. I share these with conviction and faith.
The only way to live your true story is with emotional maturity and spiritual integrity. Otherwise, you are living someone else’s story – your past, your family, ancestors, spouses, friend, community, education, work environment, or the church.
1. Conscious Awareness and Being Present
Becoming the observer means that you slow down to feel, sense and connect with your deeper knowing. In this way, you make peace with your reactions and other people’s behaviour because you are mindful of your own experience; you are present to your body, thoughts, feelings and spiritually, and that feels good.
When you feel good in your own presence, you no longer project your pain onto others or fight with your evaluating mind. Your rational thinking process becomes clear, thoughtful and supportive, rather than critical and confused.
The only way to bring about the fulfillment of your desires is by being aware of yourself. If you’re not consciously aware of your inner self, than you’re living in the outer world.. Self-nurturing is the key to honouring your own personal experience, and true fulfillment begins with a heart that is willing to forgive, surrender and be present. – Masiandia
2. Allow Your Emotions to Flow Freely
The more you allow your emotions to flow through you, rather than interpret what you’re feeling, your emotions can provide you in-depth awareness of your subconscious and unconscious experience, as well as how to navigate difficult situations. This is because you are opened to possibilities, rather than fighting to control your feelings.
It is only when we’re not aware of our feelings that we project them onto others, act out of pain and wrestle with reality. When we are aware of our feeling states, we are closely aligned with our soul vibration because emotions are the doorways to the soul, the way in which we tap into the richness of our intuition. Without this spiritual connection, our mind takes over – we rationalize our experiences and unnecessarily override the intrinsic guidance that our emotions have to offer us.
The key is to let emotions do what they do best – move through us. Holding onto our feelings creates stagnation and uneasiness because we’re going against the flow.
3. Build and Maintain the Bridge Between Your Emotions and Your Thoughts
For true balance and harmony to exist, our emotions and logic need to work together. We cannot honour and channel our emotions skilfully until we know how to approach our intellect empathically, and how to approach our emotions intelligently. – Karla McLaren
We approach our intellect empathically by suspending critical judgment and being curious. We approach the emotions intelligently by allowing them to inform us, not define us.
In order to perceive emotions and thoughts from this new perspective, it is important that we find the common ground between these polarities. The body, mind, and emotions serve a greater purpose than the mind alone can fathom, or the emotions can express in isolation or the body digest on its own. Equally the spirit without a body could not experience physical reality – life.
Each one of us has a personality woven together by complementary and conflicting forces, as well as the collective consensus reality, which we are destined to make peace with because we are not designed for adversity; we are wired for love. Bridging these diverse and seemingly opposing elements honours our body, mind, emotions, and soul as a unified system that is in alignment with Divine will.
4. Be Accountable Without Self-reproach
I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become. – Carl Young
Being accountable is accepting that we are responsible for our own experience and reactions, and be willing to unearth the origin of our pain with humility and courage.
Accountability is not the same as taking undue responsibility for the feelings and needs of others, or blaming them for our discomfort. By being responsible for our own experience, we claim the right to feel our emotions without having to defend, justify or explain ourselves. We cease making anything wrong and instead become curious about what is wanting to emerge in any given situation.
Also, our communication becomes self-oriented even as we point out something that someone else is doing or saying, such as, “When you tell me that I am too sensitive, I don’t feel heard or understood. I would love for you to be gentle with my sensitivity.” … “When you raise your voice and blame me for your upset, I feel frightened and distant from you. I need to feel safe with you and my heart yearns for closeness.”
5. Be Compassionate Towards Yourself and Others
By being compassionate towards ourselves and others we allow vulnerability to guide us into the heart of relationships; we accept our differences and become curious, intentional and welcoming. With compassion, we value forgiveness and naturally help others remember who they are. We are also understanding and accepting of our boundaries, our needs, and our desires, and respect those of others.
Compassion is a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. – Pema Chödrön
6. Ask for the Support You Need Without Expectations
Clients often emphasize how they want to “be independent” and “not rely on anyone.” And yet they’ve come to therapy, which in itself is a (usually wise) act of asking for help. Knowing when to reach out isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage and resourcefulness. – Megan Bruneau
Knowing when, who, and how to ask for help is extremely important to establish healthy relationships and receive the support we need to be well and happy. Otherwise, we project our insecurities onto others, we blame, resent and manipulate in order to survive.
Being clear about what we need works a lot better than trying to get our needs met, because we become advocates for our well-being and trust that the people in our lives can meet those needs. We stand in the conviction that our needs are worthy of consideration and kindness, and we let go of the pressure to satisfy those needs.
As a practice for expressing your needs, complete the following sentences.
In order for me to do ____________________________________, I need_______________________________________
To maintain my commitment, I need __________________________________________________________________
For me to support _____________________________________, I need_________________________________________
To nourish my sense of safety, I need __________________________________________________________________
7. Know Your Natural Limits and Boundaries
Respecting your natural limits allows for a profound sense of self-worth and self-awareness, and it gives you a clear perspective of what you need to be whole and balanced in your life. When you know your boundaries you also become aware of internal triggers and are able to choose your response and discern what best serves your truth.
By saying “no” to what doesn’t serve you, you cease interacting with people and situations that are not in alignment with your greatest good; you become receptive to what matters to you. You live your true story!
Unless you are capable of saying no, your yes is meaningless. – Osho
Many people do not say “no” because they fear the reaction of others. They are afraid that they will not be loved or that they will miss out on an opportunity. But how can you ever realize what you truly want if you’re enduring what you don’t want?
Saying “no” to what you don’t want safeguards you from developing unconscious resentment and disappointment. As well, it gives you the freedom to say “yes” to your boundaries and to what is important to you; it supports you in replenishing your energy. It is an act of self-care and respect for others.
8. Welcome Everything with Acceptance, Gratitude and the Willingness to See the Beauty in Life.
By being a welcoming presence, you reject nothing about you and your life – you recognize that every facet of you serves a larger whole and everything it is in perfect divine order.
You acknowledge that you and humanity, the animal kingdom, insects and microbes are innately innocent and pure. You are here in this incarnation to remember your divinity and to awaken from the illusion of separation. You are here to have a love affair with yourself so that you can fill your inner well to overflowing for all to see and sense and be renewed.
By welcoming all of you and life, you cease contracting, reacting, pulling or pushing away; you cultivate a deep sense of belonging, acceptance, gratitude and the willingness to see beyond the behaviour of other people. You see clearly without judgment even if what you observe is your judgment. You are forgiving towards you and others without being over-tolerant. You stand your ground, embrace your divinity and step into a life full of possibility – you say “Yes” to the unknown!
To learn more about living your true story, read my story and
receive the teachings of Masiandia in my book: Mystical Intimacy.
As an integrative counsellor and channeler, my story is one of
intuition, healing, and living my passion.
I love what I do and I love opening the door for people’s transformations.
To discover what is possible, read more…