Despite a lot of spiritual views, insecurity, mistakes, frustration, shame, and guilt are not bad.…
This blog article on personal empowerment is the second part of the series: Emotional Maturity.
The first article is What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You
Personal empowerment is the art of being a conscious non-judgemental witness, taking care of your own needs, valuing who you intrinsically are, and setting clear boundaries rather than resent others for being invasive or not understanding your needs.
Personal empowerment is self-care, self-soothing, and knowing the ground you stand on, as well as expanding your ability to see and sense more, and evolve your emotional maturity, which is to respect your feelings and that of others.
Empowerment comes from ceasing to misplace your discomfort onto others and life in general.
Humanity is well versed at projecting personal distress onto others with blame and assumptions. It’s easy to cast judgment onto others and fight with them in the effort to change their perception of us and get our needs met. But that never works! Instead of acquiring the connection and reward that we want so desperately, we get the reflection of our projections and unease.
Self-empowerment is really all about mutual empowerment, which requires that we re-write our internal dialogues, surrender the propensity to control, blame, accuse, or make ourselves and others wrong.
It’s so freeing to see the world through the lens of self-awareness. Then, we don’t evaluate the world we live in; we become curious, inviting and deeply knowledgeable. This takes willingness, curiosity, practice, patience, and commitment.
Self-awareness through self-observation is paramount.
It changes everything!
Self-observation reduced reactions and allows you to tune into the guidance inherent in your emotions. When we’re not rejecting a feeling, the feeling can reveal itself. It’s always personal and truthful. Therefore, strong feelings are never about the other person or circumstances in your life – they’re about you and their aim is to bring you back to you!
How willing are you to know your truth? How willing are you to honour your feelings and the feelings of others?
I have created a practice of self-observation that I call the 5 STEPS, for this very purpose – to slow down and feel and sense more and become receptive to what life has to offer you.
The STEPS are simple, yet require practice to become natural. Again, the key is self-awareness, inquiry, curiosity and the willingness to know thyself.
The 1st step is Sensations – tuning into your physical nature to know your body. What are your body sensations?
The 2nd step in Thoughts – being conscious of your thinking process. Notice your judgments, projections, assumptions.
The 3rd step is Emotions – What are you feeling (anger, fear, sadness, hurt or joy?) Be with your emotions until they inform you. Emotions need to flow like water. With your intent and willingness to feel within you and not externalize your emotions, you will be able to support that flow, and I can assure you that this is how inner-peace truly unfolds.
The 4th step is Presence – How present are you? What is your stress level and how old are you in this moment? If you’re in a reaction, you’re probably not your current age. You are most likely young – your inner child or adolescence has been activated. It is your job to lower your stress level and return to the present. No one else can do that for you. This is your task and you can do it because that is what you need to be restored.
The 5th step is Self-care – What do you need for self-nurturing at this moment? Ask yourself, is your reaction soothing you? When our anger escalates or we become overly discouraged, we are far from feeling nurtured and safe. It’s important to not make your reaction wrong. Just notice it, so that you can begin to connect with what you need for self-care. In this way, you will be more and more able to guide others in your life on how to nurture you, as well as tune into what they need for support. It is one of the fundamental needs that we all have.
For more information on my 5-STEPS practice and for guided instruction,
download my audio course: BodySOUL Energy Mastery Self-observation Practice.
I offer BodySOUL Integration, a comprehensive counseling and healing approach
that supports the whole body, mind, and soul.