Thrown Into Change
Divine order has its role to play in actualizing our dreams, ready or not.
During the last week of September, my husband and I received a two-month notice to end our tenancy, as the house we were renting was sold. After two years of showings, I was not only fed up with living in a house that was for sale, but even more distraught that we were not prepared to purchase our own house.
Though the notice to end our tenancy did not come as a surprise, as the owners had lowered their asking price and I had intuitively sensed that there was pending change, it was nevertheless a change that my partner and I were not ready for.
Ready or not, life’s forceful current threw us in the deep end of uncertainty and ripped away old perceptions and beliefs that didn’t align with our current needs and desires.
I retreated, despaired, and had a few tantrums, and I packed boxes that would go into storage with no awareness of where we would be living and little trust in finding our home, completely reliving my childhood trauma.
Thankfully I could observe myself with intrigue, curious at how much I must have felt lost as a child and profoundly frightened.
I can’t remember how many times we moved when I was a child — there were so many — but I do remember the sheer turmoil I felt when my mother passed away and my sisters and I didn’t know where or with whom we would be living.
The Art of Witnessing
What comforts me today is the ability to love the raw and unrefined emotions — the pain, fear, and anger. Emotions resurface for a reason and it is not because something is out of place, or a lesson has not been learned, or that one has yet to find fulfillment. It’s because of a memory that still yearns to be loved — a need that needs to be revered.
Past trauma deserves our care and affection in the present, especially when it resurfaces. Furthermore, it’s only natural that trauma resurfaces, for it seeks freedom from limiting beliefs; it seeks enlightment. Our shadow always wants a best friend — the light of our being.
Enlightment is a state of being whole, honouring our multi faceted expression, not being fettered to idealistic dogma. I speak of this often, as we live in a world with a harsh need to change us, as well as our own need to change ourselves.
There is nothing like celebrating every nuance of our personality and essence — the many shades of grey and colour tones, the rage, the joy, fear and confusion, and knowing wisdom alike.
May we all be allowed to speak, cry, raise our arms up high, scream if we have to and chant God’s name, and stop to listen.
The Story of Our Home Continues…
With Good News
My partner and I surrendered into the current of our dream — the dream of owning our own house.
And to answer our prayer — to follow the current of our dream — we raised the bar of what we expected out of life by taking a plunge into a new direction, a direction that we didn’t think was possible.
Ultimately we got out of each other’s way, which required the forceful push of the universe, but even more significantly, the miraculous unfolding of support and divine timing. We found our home a month after we moved into a short-term rental.
The inspection passed and the mortgage was approved just before I flew off to Mexico. We did it! We did it! And we’re moving into our own home in Gibsons BC, April 1st. That’s the good news.
Putting Things In Perspective
Since this journey began, I have heard many stories of other people who have been in similar situations. In fact, the folks that purchased the house we had been renting experienced their own transition, living out of suitcases for 5-years.
But rational perspective cannot begin to shed light on irrational feelings — those require our deepest willingness to witness whatever is arising in our lives with love. After all, feelings are irrational when we are in chaos.
Like a storm before the calm, how can we expect to distill the rawness when it is being reshaped, recalibrated and completely transformed? It’s impossible — the storm must pass its course.
The Currents of Energy Influencing Earth
In my recent video-message, Masiandia talk about the currents of energy presently influencing the earth, currents that follow a natural course — a course that is meant to support us.
Like oceanic currents that run beneath the surface, these magnetic forces are pulling us back into the deep end of ourselves, forcing us to connect with our emotions, and drawing us nearer and nearer to the core of our experiences and ultimately to our true value.
We’re meant to celebrate the fullness of our experiences — to completely engage with life and not negate anything, even our perceived frailties and adversities.
In their message, Masiandia give us a forecast for 2015, predicting the repetition of lessons, setbacks, as well as opportunities. If an event or situation drags on or occurs repeatedly, it will do so again and again until we “receive” its gift.
Repetition occurs, such as with feelings, thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, programming … to help us bring attention, willingness, care and devotion into abandoned aspects of ourselves. Therefore, rather than negate the lessons and experiences, or control the impact of probabilities, we can remain curious, receptive and willing, allowing the currents to guide us inwards, opening us to ourselves.
Nature doesn’t reject itself; it doesn’t expect perfection, security, guarantees and certainty; yet we expect that of ourselves and of nature.
We resist the oceanic depth of our feelings — the raw unfettered promise of our soul, when in fact, the only way that true change can happen is when we trust the natural currents in our lives. Then we receive all the nourishment, support and love that we need because we’re surrendered into the tides that guide us, push us, move us … exactly where we need to be.
One had to learn to live with it, to belong to it,
to fit into its seasons and its ways.”
~ Louis Lamour
“Who are you and what do you want? Seriously, who are you and what do you want?
“Who are you? Stop! What do you want? Stop!
“Stop and let the current of your response guide you.
“We have a question for you … well two questions.
“What is awakening in you? What wants to happen through you?
“These questions are not easy to answer but they are provocative, while the old questions: ‘Who are you and what do you want?’ conjure up stress, anxiety, uncertainty, oppression and confusion.
“The true answer is existential …
Who are you? God. What do you want? God
“Now let’s start at the beginning …
“Breathe, stop, breathe, stop, exhale, stop, stop, stop, stop, until you are so empty of breath that you have to inhale again.
This is the only way to raise the frequency of your receiving channel. Notice tension, breathe, exhale. Notice fear, breathe, exhale. Notice desire, breath, exhale. Notice anger, breathe, exhale.
Expand your awareness and the awareness will expand you. Surrender into the currents of life and the currents will show you the way back to you.
Breath, exhale, breathe, stop.
Who are you? God.
What do you want? God. A new house? A new car? A new TV? A new job, career, relationship, health, energy, affection, forgiveness, acceptance, money …? Really.
Breath, exhale, please stop, Notice your breath. Notice your holding and please surrender into the current.
Who are you? God.
What do you want? God. A new TV?
No, we don’t think so.
“Now what’s awakening in you? Desire for the divine in all things – the sacred, the holy, the freedom to be who you are, which is divinity.
“What wants to happen through you? Expansion, release, surrender, ease, openness, love and more love and even more love, and nothing else.
“You are open!
“Life flows in and so does abundance … because you recognize it.
“Let effort dissolve. Let the undercurrent take you. Let life surprise you. Let yourself not know. Let yourself be uncomfortable. Let yourself want more. It’s so much more fun to let yourself want more than worry about getting what you want. What do you want? God.
“It’s not a matter of being worthy or not. Who are you? God.
“You want you, to be you, to breathe you and exhale you and enjoy every moment of your strange and wonderful expressions.
“May you be blessed with self-acceptance. May you swim in shame, and know that it belongs to the world — to the collective unconscious — not you. May you dance in glory, upset, fatigue, uniqueness, passion, boredom and find it all so very very fascinating, because indeed it is.”
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