Someone recently asked me how to resolve conditioned beliefs, or more specifically, how to get rid of a limiting pattern. She said with disgust, “Do we have to put up with these patterns all our lives?”
My answer was, “yes, we do have to live with these issues, patterns, frailties for the rest of our lives.”
There is no escape because all time is NOW. All our lives exist right now!
Trying to get rid of a feeling, thought, and limiting belief is a subtle yet very painful violation against the present moment and our humanity. Rejection is born of the evaluating mind that has little reverence for innocence, and which inadvertently creates separation.
Furthermore, whatever we reject persists. Whatever we dismiss, devalue, discard… doesn’t stop needing our love.
When we reject feelings, thoughts and patterns, we are not a safe person to be with; we are not loving and welcoming. We are separate and unavailable for harmony.
Listening is the key to establishing safety, to cease rejecting human nature and inevitably welcoming the Divine.
I’ll never forget the day when I learned how to listen.
I was about 24 when my friend snapped at me, “Stop trying to fix me! Just listen. I need for you to just listen.”
I completely stopped overriding what he had been trying to share with me. I slowed down and reflected his thoughts and feelings. He then went on to tell me more. I listened more as he unraveled what he was working through.
We don’t realize how powerful listening is. Most times, it’s all it takes. Just listening allows others to hear themselves and sort through their thoughts and feelings. And listening allows us to slow down enough to become a safe person for them to arrive to.
Everything in life serves a larger whole. When you are receptive to that, you flow with life’s dualities; you don’t need to get rid of anything.
It is tension that gives a great piece of art character. It is the duality between contrasting elements that creates the evocative composition and brings the art into harmonious balance.
Duality has the power to return you to wholeness, just like the body’s homeostatic system seeks balance even if illness is the method it resorts to.
For instance, when you become anxious and stressed, depression can be the route that duality takes to bring you back to balance; depression depletes your vitality to force you to rest.
Conversely, if insecurity is what is undermining your vitality, then duality will manifest into a challenging situation to force you to value what you want and what’s important to you.
When we reject depression, anxiety, fear, anger, sorrow, innocence… we’re also denying its inherent guidance.
“Our neurosis and our wisdom are made out of the same material.
If you throw out your neurosis, you also throw out your wisdom.”
– Prem Chodron
Masiandia “It is only by receiving everything in life that you become open to abundance – love, support, security, understanding – because you are in a state of receptivity. That is the path of enlightenment, the way to awaken, the deepest meditation, the way of the heart and true fulfillment.
“Everything, everything, everything in life needs love, and everything is inherently a gift from God. This means that nothing is out of order. You’re never a victim, never out of control, never lost.
“Oh, but if only you could trust this – you would be so blissful and overjoyed. Life would be met by your constant surrender, for what else would there be?
“But surrender mustn’t be the goal, and nor enlightenment. If you’re seeking to be more conscious, than become more welcoming. Accept all life, reject nothing.
“If you’re seeking betterment, please stop. Instead, recognize just how brilliant you are right now. Life needs your constant companionship, not rejection, in order to heal and thrive.”
To find out more about welcoming your wisdom,
read my book Mystical Intimacy.
Feature photo by Chris Sabor